It is the theme of Nuno’s new single, featuring Verbz. A fight against a prolonged depression that led him to a continuous state of disbelief, only relieved by music. We asked Nuno to go beyond the lyrics and share his experience with us.
Nuno: I was a cheerful, lighthearted kid. Although I didn’t say much, I’ve always shown a lot of what I was feeling and thinking. As the years came by, I began to see that most people were afraid to show joy and affection because they thought it was a sign of weakness. It was either a result of past experiences or the product of peer pressure, the thing is, at such a young age, we don’t have the tools to resist neither of them. So, in an attempt to go through life a bit more peacefully, I began to keep some things for myself. I kept part of my personality hidden from any strange look, trying to fit within a blind, unsympathetic world. It was alright in the beginning, I met some interesting goodhearted people. Had loads of fun and new experiences, and I am thankful for that because I was living life, the problem was that it was not my life.
At 19, after my first year of college, I remember being in my bedroom, when, all of a sudden, I hit the limit, and the mask fell off. Tears started flooding my eyes, I had no idea who I was, what I was doing with my life, who I was close to, what was my purpose. I’d spent the last couple years doing what I thought would be best for me, being what others expected me to be, and completely forgot about being me. Times like these are hard to explain because all you feel is numbness. You can be with your friends at the bar, and your mind is far away, drifting. I recall spending hours lost in my thoughts, time was flying and then, with no warning, it stopped, and every second was excruciating. Sometimes, you’re just staring into nowhere thinking why, and how, did you end up feeling like this, looking for the answers that would eventually help you to stand up.
These times were painful for everyone. Friends and family feel unable to help you, and you feel like you don’t want to talk about it because no one would possibly understand. I felt that too, I never told any of my friends about it, although I believe they understood what was going on. I was on a downward spiral, and the moments I spent with them were a breath of fresh air. It took me a while to understand that the solution for what I was feeling, was to be myself again, to slowly go back to be the cheerful, lighthearted kid. The difference was that, now, I had the confidence to be me, because I knew that the previous lack of confidence took me to the lowest point of my life. I would do anything to never go back there again.
To go back, being yourself is a complex process, it is done over time, step by step, and, it is not as easy as one might think. To be you means that you are unlike anyone else. Thus, many times there will be confrontations capable of blocking your path, many ups and downs since you are embodying your personality. But, at the end of the day, being you is the best reward you will ever get, I truly believe it is the one thing we are meant to. My path to being me again had its ups and downs, it took time, and, to be honest, I do not feel I am there yet, but I am as closest as I have ever been. I went back to prioritize my dreams, appreciate life, and share my story with others through music. I stopped being afraid of showing my feelings and made sure people around me knew how much they meant to me. Stopped making excuses for things not to happen and tried my best. Nowadays, I spend my time between business management and music. Though the two have little to do with each other, I feel this is me, and I’m looking forward to seeing what the future holds.