As I sat in a steamy coffee shop in Brighton, I curiously watched Tom Cherrill (Frontman) and Fergus Bordoli (Bassist) looking up the difference between a flat white and a latte. What I considered even more interesting was Tom’s slick, charcoal grey suit, and Ferg’s timeless, navy peacoat—both charity-shopped at the price of only a tenner. How do you describe such charitable boys with effortless style?
First things first; don’t call them a garage rock band—even if they sarcastically tell you to. Don’t do it. You might infuriate one of them.
Tom: Kieran (Guitarist) hates that.
Ferg: I think he thought we were a psychedelic band, which we were at first, but it didn’t work.
Tom: We weren’t expecting it.
Ferg: Yeah. Every song we’ve put out we’ve ended up hating after a few months, but it hasn’t happened to Consumer Helpline.
Is there a personal story behind Consumer Helpline?
Tom: Nah. All of the reviews we’ve had are interpretations by the reviewer on relationships and capitalism—and fuck me—I did not think that far!
Really? I totally thought there’d be a deeper meaning. I was thinking, what happened? What went wrong? Was it the Royal Mail? What did they do? Why did you call it that? They laughed.
Ferg: We had been playing it for a month or two and we didn’t have a name for it, and then, one day, Simon (Drummer) was just looking at a can of Stella and said, “What about consumer helpline? It says it right here.” And we were like, “Yeah”.
Tom: We were sitting in Brixton before our gig. A lot of the time we’re walking down the street like rocket signs. I can write the lyrics in one go and it’s good to go and Kieran (Guitarist) will have the music, but when it comes to naming it—not so great.
On this Stella business, if your band was a type of beverage what would it be?
Ferg: Nah, that’s the worst.
Tom: Nah, like one of the twisty bottle ones.
Ferg: Yeah, it’s the worst drink.
Tom: It’s easily accessible—It’s for the masses.
Ferg: No—nah, don’t put that in. It’s horrible. Tom drinks shit beer and he’s proud of it.
Tom: I think it’s my Kentish heritage.
Ferg: What about Orangina? Because it’s like Fanta if you just open it and drink it, but it’s got all the bits in the middle … and once you shake it, it’s not like Fanta. You gotta shake it to wake it, baby.
Now, I know. Orangina, it is. I wanted to add Budweiser in the article just to annoy them a little though.
Ferg: (laughs) Nah, don’t.
Tom: Let me think about it because these are good questions. I’m enjoying it.
Wow. You never seem to think this hard about your song titles. If a politician wanted to use one of your songs, who would you allow?
Tom: Rees-Mogg! I’ll give him one of our awful early songs.
Ferg: Nah, I reckon someone like … “None, cause they’re all the same man”
Tom: We both support Labour though. I pay monthly to Labour.
Ferg: Do ya? I did not know that. I support Jeremy Corbyn, but I don’t like him enough anymore. When he first came on the scene I thought he was revolutionary, but I think as time has gone by, he wasn’t as ‘wow’ as I thought he was. He’s just a good guy.
Tom: It’s difficult because his party hasn’t allowed him to do what he wants to do, so it’s hard to judge him on actions he hasn’t been able to make.
Who’s your least favourite politician?
Ferg: Donald Trump.
Tom: He is awful. It’s an easy answer, but he’s a horrible person.
Ferg: Or, Kim Jong Un.
Tom: Nah, he’s funny.
Ferg: He’s not funny!
Tom: He just stirs the pot, man! He knows exactly what he’s doing—he’s like the older brother that puts the other siblings against each other.
Ferg: No, I’m talking about the way he runs his country.
Tom: Oh, the famines bad. The famines bad.
Ferg: Yeah, that thing.
Tom: But on an international level, I find him quite entertaining.
Wow. He’s exposed himself now.
Ferg: Tom’s the Kim Jong Un of our band … I’m joking.
Tom: Look, they have a lot of bugs and I have a lot of fingers.
When are you going to release your next single? Have you got an EP release date?
Ferg: We’re gonna release the single in February. We might have a B-side, but we haven’t decided amongst ourselves.
Tom: If we can finish the first one, we’ll do another one—but if we don’t—it’s better to spend time on the first one.
Ferg: We’re always focusing on gigs, too.
Tom: It’s what I find most enjoyable. I don’t really enjoy recording.
Ferg: I think it’s the most important thing as well–for people to see you play–it’s different from listening to a track in your bed and going out and watching it. I’ve always loved going to gigs. I know people who love music and don’t go to gigs, but I don’t listen to that much music. I listen to what I listen to but never venture out. But I love going to gigs and seeing new bands.
Describe in one word how it feels to be on stage.
Ferg: Um … fun.
Tom: Spell “fun”.
Ferg: I dunno—it’s just my favourite part for sure.
I saw the fun in Ferg’s eyes. He was glowing—almost pregnant. As I said this, he laughed.
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