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Cassels are masters of social commentary. ‘When Completing Handshakes’ lyrics may sound funny at first. But read them as a diary and they will sound like the cry for help of an individual with a severe social anxiety disorder.

Practicing my facial expressions to appear relaxed and at ease. I stare at my reflection or is it staring at me…? I colour code my problems based on their varying levels of internal conflict. The result: a sea of orange and a spreadsheet which is becoming increasingly complex.

Next, I chart my progress on maintaining eye contact when completing handshakes, a vast improvement on May and June but I could have done without that school reunion yesterday.

The daily survey with my girlfriend to ascertain whether her affection for me has wained. Came back. Much the same; ambivalent at best. Questioning seems to irritate. Considering methodology change.

 

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